Finding one of those Zhu Zhu Pet Hamsters: holiday craziness

Tuesday, 10 November 2009 09:52 | Written by dscriber daily |

DSCRIBER INVESTIGATES

The holiday season is shaping up to be sparse for families who don't know anyone on Wall Street who is getting one of those enormous bonuses for all the hard work they've been doing to keep America No. 1. As such, low-budget -- okay, kinda cheap -- plastic gifts for children are back in. One huge craze that's hitting early is the fantic search for hamster toys that advertise they're all the fun with none of the mess of a real hamster. Indeed, the Zhu Zhu, starting in the $10 range depending on where you shop, can be cheaper than a real hamster. And, as every parent knows, real hamsters are destined for some kind of tragic end, such as getting hanged by the neck from a string of Christmas lights, followed by a tearful shoebox funeral (or a simple flush if that is your custom).

An in-depth investigation by dscriber has learned the nefarious Zhu Zhu toy is sure to cozy it's interactive "fun-loving" mechanical self right up to your icy Scrooge heart this season. But be warned: A Zhu Zhu could easily become a long-term investment.

Only a brute of a parent, after all, would deny their child the Hamster Starter Set, a "funhouse" for a Zhu Zhu that has clear plastic tubes just like a real hamster home, according to Cepia Inc., which manufactures the electronic rodents. There's also a hamster car and garage, a must-have for any would-be yuppie child who seeks to escape the doldrums of the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression in style. And what's a hamster without a Cepia Inc.-manufactured wheel?

There's even a sort of Snuggie for the hamsters to lounge in. Classy.

We're not sure if a Zhu Zhu will be able to demand these amenities on it's own. We are certain, however, children everywhere are still able to loudly utter the phrases, "Daddy, please!" or "Mommy, please!" while stomping wildly in public.

Whatever you pay, it's a toy and one day it will be forgotten. If so, it can easily be recycled into a fantastically agile cat toy. That is until it gets too battered to move. Heck, go ahead and buy one for the cat just to see what happens.

Anyway... you're probably reading this wondering where to get one. Okay, we'll tell you even though we cringe at becoming your milestone to something that could be a gateway to the day robots take over the Earth and enslave humanity. We've seen a few Zhu Zhu hamsters at major retailers like Walmart, Toys R Us -- even on Amazon. But they're reportedly going quick.

And if you have trouble finding one, put on one of those new Mattel Mindflex helmets that are supposedly able to measure brain activity. Then ask yourself this, "What is the true meaning of the season?" Listen to the bleeps and bloops until the answer comes.